Coffee Jokes

Unattended Children Coffee This is a page with coffee jokes to brighten up your day. The page contains both original and curated coffee humor, the best-caffeinated stories, posters, anecdotes, and jokes. If you like this page, share it, all your friends deserve a little coffee break.  We have funny pictures and one-liners about coffee and about coffee drinkers.

Make sure you watch the videos, they are hilarious and touch subjects that we always thought but never discussed.

Coffee Jokes

Spoon in the coffee cup joke
A man talks to his psychiatrist and says:
“Doctor, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye, every time I drink my coffee.”
The doctor replies:
“Well, have you tried taking the spoon out before drinking?”
Coffee Drip Joke
Have you ever felt like coffee runs right through you? And no matter how many cups you had you still feel like you need more? Join the club. By the way, don’t drink too much coffee, it’s not healthy. I tried it…
The office coffee machine is broken
That’ what happens when the office coffee machine is broken.
Coffee Refill Joke
A guy walks into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: “How much is the coffee?”
“Five dollars” answers the waitress.
“How about a refill, how much is it” the man asks.
“The refill is free, “says the waitress.
“Then I’ll take two refills!” the guy replies.

Funny Bicycle Cup Holder

This bicycle cup holder looks funny, but it is a trend that catches up.

More and more people choose to have a cup of coffee with them while riding their bike. Funny, or not? I’ll let you decide.

Ever wanted to shout in a Starbucks coffee shop: “I want a small cup of coffee? You pretentious bunch of coffee snobs!” She is very funny.
I personally take pleasure from asking espresso using the Italian names. I would go and ask: “Can I have a doppio lungo?” The long face accross the counter is priceless.

Office Coffee Machine Joke When the technology revolution works against us. I can actually foresee the day when the office coffee machine won’t serve you because you entered the wrong password.

But seriously, if you are in charge of buying the new coffee machine for your office, take a look at our guide on how to choose an espresso machine for the office.

Cappuccino vs latte

We actually have an article about the differences between latte and cappuccino here. Our article is serious though. The article at The Bitchy Waiter is funny, and it shows the hidden side of serving customers with unreasonable expectations. Here is a funny excerpt:

“Hi, can I get a half regular-half decaf, soy latte with extra foam and cinnamon but only if the cinnamon is organic and instead of all soy milk, can you just put in about a tablespoon of 2% milk? I’m lactose intolerant but I still love the taste of regular milk. Wait, make it whole milk. Why not, right? Wait, do you have almond milk? You do? Okay, I want an almond milk latte with caramel and chocolate sauce, extra foam, but no cinnamon on this one because it will fight with the taste of the caramel.”

Coffee Mouse Trap
Do you ever feel “trapped” in the morning routine? Yeah, I do… But I don’t care, because I love it.
Image by via Flickr
Superman coffee Meme
I am no Batman, I need my coffee in the morning.
coffee jokes
Soooo…. If you see my face a little green, you know I didn’t have my coffee just yet. Run away, at that point you are dealing with Hulk, not with me…
Dark Side Coffee
Yeah the dark force is with me. It comes out of my espresso machine every morning.
Coffee makes me poop mug
Funny or not, coffee does contribute to our daily healthy routine. It looks like people are proud of it, and make it public.

Coffee makes me poop mug

Pot Head Coffee Mug
Pot Head Coffee Mug A funny coffee pun, obviously, intended.

We have a few coffee puns here, check them out.

The joke is funny, but when you hear it from a little girl, with that serious tone… It’s even more hilarious, seriously. Oh no, another pun. Unintended, or not…
coffee shop emergency joke
Drip vs Espresso – what should I get?
Cat Drinking Coffee
Sometimes I just want to drink coffee…

Starbucks Coffee Joke

Buddha, Jesus and Muhammad accidentally meet at a Starbucks. All three of them admit it’s their first time at Starbucks.  After sipping a couple of times, Muhammad says: “Don’t you fellows think the coffee here is over-roasted…and terribly expensive? Let’s go find some tea.” “At least it awakens us.” replies Budha. Then both look at Jesus. Jesus then replies: “Don’t look at me, it’s easier to turn water into wine than a bad espresso into a good one.”

If you are not an espresso lover, and you only drink cappuccinos and lattes, you probably don’t get this. However, the joke is criticizing Starbucks’ coffee beans roast. Their coffee beans are over-roasted to the point for being burnt. They apparently don’t care, because they never fixed the problem.

This video is from Dave Letterman Show. Dave Letterman is reading us the funny list of top 10 signs you drink too much coffee.
Number ten on the list is: “Your blood type has been classified as espresso”.
Watch the video he is hilarious.
The office coffee machine is broken
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